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Relationship Author, Adrian Carter, Shares 18 Thoughts on Tabitha Brown Retiring Her Husband

Written by Adrian Carter

On the subject of Tabitha Brown, I don’t know where to start.

  1. I’m overwhelmed by the Black women who find it problematic that she has “retired her husband to pursue his dreams.”
  2. Why do so many women simplify the identity of men to being “working/providing”
  3. Tabitha has a point about hoping you find the love she has with her husband. Isnt that the point? Isn’t that the kind of love and support you want? But you scoff at reciprocity?!
  4. Black women you can’t have it both ways, compete against men in the workforce to break traditional glass ceilings but hold the man to the traditional construct of provider. You compete against him and then require him to perform against his lowered odds of success.
  5. After a while, the conversation transcends gender; it’s economics. People do what they can afford.
  6. You scream Black Love as long as you control what it looks like. I find this most appalling.
  7. Black hurt is so deep that ppl call good, evil and evil, good. People have made the exception the rule and the rule the exception.
  1. Don’t make Wendy Williams and Mary J. Blige’s story be Tabitha’s story. You don’t know the type of WIFE Wendy and Mary were. What about the successful marriages?
  2. Black women, you can’t be the only victim all the time. Stop making Tabitha a victim to be.
  3. The word “retire” is distorting the conversation. Her husband is not about to go sit on the beach. He’s going to run his business!
  4. Here’s the irony, most women want exactly what Tabitha has, a successful career and a husband who supported the process. So maybe this is jealousy and envy talking.
  5. Stop always claiming to be the victim.
  6. What greater a gift than someone who supports your opportunity to pursue your pasion? (See #10 and #11).
  7. I guess 15 years of hoping you come home each night isn’t good enough for some people.
  8. Her husband doesn’t need to be retired to cheat. If he was going to cheat, he had plenty of opportunities to do so while on the police force. Make it make sense.
  9. Ya’ll sound impoverished in spirit and income.
  10. And that type of attitude is exactly how you get married and Do Everything Except Make It Last.

We can talk about this more on August 14 at my book signing and panel conversation on relationships and my future projects. The event takes place at Inhale Miami. To RSVP visit Eventbrite.

Author Adrian Carter

Article originally published by Adrian Carter on his Facebook page. Read the original post here. Carter, a Miami native, is the author of the five star rated book, “Let’s Get Married & Do Everything Except Make It Last: A Heart-to-Heart with Men on Loving and Leading.” He also the founder of the EmpowerMEN Conference, a male empowerment initiative focused on conflict resolution, leadership development, and redefining the identity of men in the 21st century.


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